my love letter.

disclaimer ; this entry might be extra long and super duper messy– i dont arrange it into a flow that i supposed to, i dont make any grammar check, i dont proof-read before publishing and i skipped many more steps. so please bare with all those flawS that you are going to meet. thank you ❤ !

.

.

do you really sure that the happiness we feel (or maybe felt ) is only because we deserve it ? well, some kindness might happen in our life as a return of the kindness that we have done before. but, i always believe that there are some happiness we feel today is not only because we deserve it, but also because Allah is currently makbul-ing the du’a of other people.

dalam diam, we never know which beautiful soul is asking Allah to shower us with His bless.
dalam diam, we never know which beautiful soul is asking Allah to protect us from any harmness.

answering why i always ask myself to keep telling people that they are matter– not because iam a person who loaded with positivity, but i want people to feel appreciated. then they might pray for my happiness. and their du’a might be the reason why iam smiling most of the time. simple as that.

after publishing my last post, i feel bad for not write any special words to everyone of you. i feel bad for leaving you guys in that “hanging” position.

well, as what i said before– saya menulis pada asalnya kerana saya perlukan satu tempat untuk meluahkan semua pandangan, pendapat dan perasaan yang saya rasa tanpa saya perlu takut untuk dihukum. saya perlukan tempat yang saya dapat meluah tanpa perlu berselindung dengan perasaan saya. saya perlukan tempat yang saya dapat meluah tanpa perlu memberikan penerangan yang panjang. bukan kerana kawan kawan saya tak cukup memahami, but explaining requires energy you know. kadang kadang pemahaman orang dengan penerangan kita tak sama. kadang kadang reaksi orang dengan jangkaan kita jauh berbeza. kadang kadang jawapan orang tak sama dengan apa mereka betul betul fikir. maka sebagai langkah yang kurang berisiko, saya menulis.

sampai satu masa, saya rasa keadaan yang saya alami turut dialami oleh orang lain. struggle mereka lagi jauh mencabar berbanding saya. dan saya memilih untuk expose sebahagian daripada penulisan saya kepada beberapa orang yang saya percaya. dan saya rasa tindakan saya tidak pernah salah. saya menulis tanpa paksaan, tanpa jangkaan. saya menulis bukan untuk impress sape2, bukan untuk pujian sape2, tapi untuk berkongsi rasa yang saya alami.

long short story, here iam today. writting with love and little tears before taking space from posting anything 🤣.

saya taknak pesan banyak, sebab saya bukan mak mak 😂. dan pesanan saya satu je– take care, forever and always.

beware in the new environment,
jangan mudah terpengaruh, jangan mudah terpedaya. just because most of the people do it, doesnt mean it is a right thing. have your own principe, and stick to it– even if you have to be alone. you know you better.

beware in choosing your circle.
jangan mudah percaya orang, jangan terlalu baik. dunia ini kejam, begitu juga penghuninya. quality is always better than quantity. tapi kalau ditakdirkan awak diletakkan bersama jutaan orang yang baik, alhamdullilah– itu rezeki awak.

take care of you mental health.
i might wont be there 24 hours to remind you that you are matter, but always know that you are. just because everyone doesnt believe in you yet, it doesnt mean you cant ace it. stop insecuring about yourself. you doesnt need anyone to puji you just to prove that you are pretty. you doesnt need deretan of As just to prove that you have done a good work. and you doesnt need to capai other people punya kayu ukur just to prove your succeness. as long as you being you, you do your best– that’s enough.

take care of your heart too 👀. (someone might think this is nonesense, but we are talking about the truth sayang, nak bitter jangan baca sini 😚)
selamat datang ke gedung mencari jodoh (IAM KIDDING OBV 😎). goodluck in finding your life partner. it is like a puzzle game– you need to find a piece that really fit in your missing place. and if you dont want to choose a wrong piece, so dont rush in making decision. just because everyone else already have their partner, doesnt mean you need it to. make sure you are totally ready, then you are allow to go. but, jangan pernah lupa niat asal kita. kita ada impian untuk dicapai, kita ada jiwa untuk dibanggakan, kita ada cita cita untuk dipenuhi. cinta takkan buat sesiapa kaya, jangan pernah lupa apa priorities kita ❤.
(special part ; for those who are going to apart with their partner, tak kesah la bff ke sape2 ke– i wish the best to both of you. not gonna lie, it is going to be tough but you both are going to decide which ending you are going to experience. and i will surely pray the best for everyone. goodluck !)

saya rasa dah cukup panjang dah penulisan kalini. terima kasih kerana tidak pernah berhenti meluangkan masa untuk membaca disini. moga manfaat dikongsi dan keburukkan kita biar dekat sini je.

ouh sebelum terlupa– andai sepanjang perkenalan kita ada perbuatan dan tutur kata saya yang menyakiti dan mengguris hati sesiapa, saya harap perkara tu dah lama dimaafkan. saya takde berkecil hati with anyone, dont worry. thank you for becoming a part of my journey, thank you for being the light in every darkness, thank you for always believing in me and thank you for accepting me as who iam. words arent enough to describe how thankful iam to own all of you in my life.

doa saya untuk semua takkan pernah putus. semoga semua diberi kekuatan untuk menempuh kehidupan baru, dipermudahkan segala urusan dan disirami dengan kejayaan yang tidak pernah putus. doakan saya disini juga ❤. semoga persahabatan yang terjalin tidak terhenti dipertengahan jalan dan tidak berakhir dengan perkara yang tidak diingini. goodluck all to all future teachers(s), doctor(s), science people, architecture, and many more manusia berguna that i might forget to list out. semoga membesar jadi orang yang berguna dan membanggakan semua. tak sabar nak tengok semorang post gambar graduation uni !

selamat bertebaran ke seluruh pentas dunia. semoga pulang dengan sesuatu yang bukan sahaja membanggakan namun turut berguna. can’t wait to say “those successful people are my best friend” ❤.

Love,
the future lawyer ( cpt aamiin-kan !)
Bella ❤.