cascading.

i wont deny that with current evolvement of technology, each of us will surely own at least one social media that we are very attached to and so do i. but just because i also practice those habit, it doesnt mean that it is something right that everyone is supposed to stick to.

as how we already familiarised with before, it is impossible for one thing to exist without its pros and cons. and iam not going to being typical by listing out tonnes of social media’s cons because we have done thousands of essays on that 🤣.

even so, there are one of cons that writers rarely published on their blogs which make us barely notice it through out our usage.

i understand that with current situation where everyone is struggling to fit with, we tend to feel lot more emotional compared to before. and one of the cure that everyone is comfort with is by pouring it out. and i respect that solution because converting those feelings into words is one of the best way to help ourselves. (( not merely my opinion, but it is a fact– feel free to do your research, iam fine with that )). and the action of you finding remedy for your struggles and pains is something that deserves praises because there are lot more people who’s having same kind of shoes as yours but decided to keep it inside until it harms themselves even more.

i might not be the right one to comment on this since my situation might be way more easier compared to yours until i dont have to experience those days that you wish to erase for your life, alhamdulillah– but i will never forgive me if i dont explicit my words on this and something happens tomorrow.

in expounding your feelings and struggles, the main thing that we rarely notice is the place where we put it. i know social media supposed to be a safe place where we can simply post anything without the fear of being judged of being downgraded by others because that is the nature of social media but sadly, it is not. expressing your feelings and struggles on social media might not be the best choice that you are supposed to choose.

before iam explaining the reason why iam saying so, deeply from bottom of my heart, iam truly sorry if my opinion and words hurt you and make me seems like iam refusing to understand your situation and thought that life is only centered on me but again– iam sure on this🌻.

i was in your shoes where i think that pouring each and every feelings on social media is the best way ; we wont burdening others with our problems, we dont need to explain each feelings that we are battling with, we dont have to justify each and every action and the list goes on. (( if you dont believe that i once in these shoes, feel free to read my previous post : my love letter — i have shared more than required there ✌ ))

but incase i have to remind, social media is double edged sword where it can help you but it can simply kill you too. your followers might seem like care about you, but later– you will realise that some of them are only being curious and at that moment, you will suffer twice than before.

if i may describe on what are the differences between that two Cs, care and curious — i would begin it by saying that on the first basis, it is hard for us to differentiate between who is caring and who is curious because each and every sentences is the combination of both. but in measuring it– we will obviously look into which one is dominating because there are big differences between that two.

when someone is asking your well being because they are care towards you, they will focus on your condition and situation instead of asking those questions that are playing in their minds. they might ask question only because they want to understand your struggles but their main goal is not to get any answer in return, instead it is a method to express that you are their loved ones and they want you to know that. they encourage you to pour not to satisfy their curiousity, but to acknowledge you that you are not alone to go through that phase. they are there not to know why neither to know how, but they are there to remind you that you are worth more than you realise.

but sadly, if someone is asking you because they are curious– i could say that their main linchpin is to get answer from you to fulfill their questions. they dont really care the struggles that you are feeling, they just need the answer on why is that happened. just like how you curious in your lecture class, you will have continuous questions because that questions will help to generate your understanding once your lecture explains it to you again. and that’s the best analogy i could give for now. and if i may add, i wont hesitate to say that this attitude is kind of selfish because even at the moment where we see someone is struggling, we still insist to know the ingredient of that situation instead of helping them.

and before i continue, i just would like to disclaim that being curious isn’t bad at all. in situation where same problems happen repeatedly again and again, being curious is good to help us in understanding one problem better so that the advice that we are going to give fit the needs. but your curious has to suit the situation that you are helping.

and to avoid misunderstanding– my discussion is in the context of life-lessons, not the context of academic matters because if we are discussing in the context of academic, I WOULD LOVE TO SUGGEST EVERYONE TO BEING CURIOUS SO THAT IT HELP YOU TO UNDERSTAND MORE AND BECOME SOMEONE THAT VALUE THE KNOWLEDGE, NOT ONLY UNDERSTAND BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO ( nampak tak saya bersemangat, tulis huruf besar ye sksksk )

and jumping back to our discussion, so what is the correlation ? and i personally would say, pouring on social media is not the best way even though it is your right because people there mostly are curious, not because they are care. wait– dont misinterpret my point. if you have followers that are very pure hearted and they really care about your well being and not only curious, alhamdulillah– good for you, iam happy for that.

but my opinion is on the basis that — ” if they really care, why did they let you pour on social media instead of asking your well being privately at the first place ? ” if someone decided to pour on social media, i could say that is the last choice that they have because most of the people will always avoid on showing the other sides of them there. and if they really care, why dont they voluntary offer themselves to hear you at the first place ? nope, iam not juding– iam just questioning the credibility and accountability.

i understand the curiousity when we read someone’s instastories where they pour their struggles but why do we need to wait until that level to ask their well-being while we have the choice to ask them waaay before. well, social media is toxic– and we all know that.

because of this love, i would say social media is not the best place even though it might one of the choice that you are owning. you might say that it is easier for me to say rather than done– but wait.

i was there girl, i was there in the phase ” this is my place, i have my right to post anything i want ” and i really post everything, be it a good one or a bad one. in other easy words, instagram stories used to be my digital diary. but that was all before.

and i stop, not only because the negativity is there but also because i realise how happier i could be when i less post and keep it to me. dont you ever tell that i dont understand while i began way before.

iam saying this not because i want to stop you from seeking help. go girl, seek help but make sure to seek the real help. iam pretty sure that there are more than one person in your circle that are s willing to hear you. (( and if you are reading this, it means that you are someone to me. come on, iam 24hrs free to listen to you. just hmu, iam will be there ))

and before i end, i would love to say that those are solely my mere opinions. others or even you might own a better one and i respect that. i do this not to influence others because i dont have that power, but iam doing this so that i could forgive myself if anything happen later.

whatever struggles that you are dealing with, even though it might seem small– it matters. never downgrade it and embrace the phase that you are walking through. keep moving and if you are given the chance to run, do run and not only remain walking. i cant guarantee you anything because i own no power, but iam sure– you are going to be proud in the future whenever you look back into today because you know how valuable these hard days are in shaping you into those successful person.

looking forward to say “those successful person is a friend of mine”. and i will never stop praying for your well-being.

till then, take care– hope to see you soon 🎈 !

Love,
Bella 🖤.